CKC's Thinking outside the blog

I finally understand – in my feelings, rather than only intellectually – what mums have been teaching me for years.

We had puppies – or I should say – our dog had puppies.

When we originally chose our dog, we first did research to discover a breed that would behave well with children. Not for the usual reason (as I don’t have children), but because our work involves research with very young children, and we thought that a small dog would be good to utilize in the beginning of our sessions. He or she would divert their attention from fear of the new environment, and calm them down. We chose the perfect dog because she is excellent in this regard (with kids) – and also has the ability to soothe and calm clients, too!

From the time she joined our life, though, she has been much more than a ‘working dog’. Though I am surprised to say it, she is truly a member of our family and home. She is sweet-natured, playful, and even though an adult dog, she has endearing puppy-like qualities. She loves to run free and enjoy the outdoors, and equally loves to sit on our laps and just ‘chill out’ with us in early mornings or evenings. She has brought and continues to bring joy, lots of smiles (and licks and cuddles), and a great deal of love.

Our objective in choosing a mate for her was to make sure that we had a puppy from her to carry on her line – and we wanted to find a mate that had a similar charm and ability to connect with people. When she gave birth, it was to four ‘girls’ – each beautiful (of course!), and as the weeks went by, they grew into lovely, distinct personalities.

It is re-housing three of the puppies that helps me deeply understand – both emotionally and rationally – the big lesson of motherhood. From the moment of birth, each mum knows it is her job to prepare her children for leaving the nest. It is a bitter-sweet task – full of incredible reward and intense pain. And though bursting with pride for the child’s accomplishment of each milestone, she realizes as well that each step the child makes is away from her.

And though I only experienced this with the puppies, I did get a slight glimmer of the intensity of emotion wrapped up in the knowledge of ‘doing the right thing’ and ‘making the right choice’ and the sadness at missing the person, and no longer being missed.

And if I get those feelings at merely 7 weeks, with just puppies, how must mums feel after many years of raising her children?? This is the core of motherhood, from which all else stems – and as we strive to understand her and her motivations, it will serve us well to understand this rationally, and at a minimum, empathize with her emotions.